Remember when MTV played music videos? A few of our younger readers may be shocked to find out that the “M” in MTV means music. Not moron, monotonous, or meaningless. Which is what the vast majority of their programming now consists of. That and awards. I don’t know how much pride one can truly take for getting an MTV Movie Award. I suppose winning something does give you that feeling of euphoria. I won $2 on a $2 scratch off once and actually had the “I WON!” feeling.

Of course, all awards shows like this really offer is a chance to see what these MTV types show up in for the red carpet.  I have a couple of thoughts for these ladies that I’d like to share here:

Elizabeth Reaser, did you strip the hemp off a pair of your mom’s sandals from 1964?  Is that a jacket with no shirt under it and a skirt or some strange black dress that you decided looked better with a jacket?  Very confusing.

Kristen Stewart the point behind a mini-dress is to show off your legs.  Effing high tops are not for showing off your legs. They are for playing basketball.  Next time either wear heels or sweats. I don’t care which way you go but your hair and dress look like you are going clubbing and your legs and feet look like they are about to hit the court to play horse.

Hey, Meagan Fox.  While I have to say that there’s something girl-crush hot about you why did you give up on your hair? Certainly you didn’t really just get out of the pool.  And um.  Those shoes only have two words to say.  Pole. Dancer.  Ick.

Monique Coleman….. seriously?

 

Rumor Willis I’m worried about you. Genetically you should be so much hotter and I’m concerned that there are outside reasons why you aren’t.  In your defense, I really rather like this dress. The color blocking is interesting, the shiny clutch that looks like an oversided wireless mouse from this angle is cool and the shoes are hot.  Now let’s get your hair done and put on some lipstick, shall we?

Vanessa Hudgens are you trying to fall out of your top? This looks like a real attempt to have a boob pop out during the red carpet walk thus catapulting you into the “OOPSIE MY BOOB!” crowd.  Otherwise….you look like you are wearing a sheet.  C’mon, honey.

Leann Rimes…while I honestly think you look gorgeous (and you can yodel which is fascinating) isn’t this a little much for the MTV Movie Awards? Compare and contrast your wardrobe to the type of event you are attending next time, sweetie.

Sacha Baron Cohen…..there are not words.